I've been writing (and rewriting) this post in my head for the past couple of days, trying to figure out a way to make sure I don't sound like a complete nutter. Ah, I gave up trying. There's only so much you can do with phrases like 'Sorry I disappeared again! I was too busy trying to have a nervous breakdown! :|
I know I've been disappearing a lot lately. I swear it's not on purpose &, gods, I really mean to stay (until I end up disappearing again). I thought that maybe instead of making this return a big deal, I'd just kinda slide back into the whole thing, but I didn't want to insult anyone's intelligence.
July was a pretty bad month for me, at least for the first few weeks.
Therapy really helped this month, several sessions with Lisa really helped me feel my way out of this funk. That was a bit of a double-edged sword though because she's gone now. :| I had my last session with her on the 23rd. Her internship is over, she'll be moving back to Wisconsin in a few weeks, and I can't contact her for a pretty long time. To say that I've been extraordinarily bummed would be an understatement. She had good things to say about the therapist I'm being transferred to so I'm trying to be optimistic. My first session with Mary is later this week. (I just realised that I need to find the card, because I've forgotten exactly when.)
I've been doing better for about a week or so, well enough to realise how majorly I've fucked up yet again. I picked today to finally post again because, well, you know how much I like the
false hope of fresh starts and firsts are always good days to start from. I wonder if anyone will even read this. *sigh* It is what it is, I guess. It's time for me to check my email, check LJ, and face up to reality. My world is what I make of it, and here's hoping that I'm finally going to man up girl up and make it work.
And I know I've been saying it so much that it's probably lost its meaning but I am sorry for flaking out. Again. It's no reflection on you guys. It's all me and my own issues. Lately I've felt like I've got a couple dozen subscriptions worth of 'em. I do love you guys, even if I have a lousy way of showing it.